Today was the day... I went to the college and spent a whole lot of money on text books and other things that were stated as NEEDED on my list. OMG, does that every make things real. (image: Quote Ideas)
So if you have been avoiding it here's the friendly reminded that school starts in 2 WEEKS... yes 2. Not 4, not 8, TWO!!!!
I have manged to get all my kids stuff together... they have new shoes, new backpacks, new outfits for the first day... (thanks to Grandma that it). They are all set. In all honesty they are SO set that I wish their school would start already because they are clearly ready to be there (or maybe it's me that's clearly ready for them to be there). Either way they are all bought for and geared up for their first day back.
With going to my new College it's really weird. I have been wanting to go back to school for a while but even at 34 I still feel like my first day of high school all over again. I have butterfly's in my tummy, I walk the halls feeling like people are watching me (even though I know they don't give a shit about me), and of course I feel like I'm already a little stressed about course loads even though I haven't really done anything other than look in one of the books.
I need to keep reminding myself that I'm doing this for ME. I'm not doing it for anyone else!! This is something that has interested me for a long time... from the days as a kid watching Fashion File and Jeanne Beker on Fashion Television.
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The difference now, compared to when I went to University, is that I haven't been in school for 11 years. That's a LONG time in my eyes (mind you I know people that took longer but still) and I can already feel myself worrying about being bored, or being stressed, or ... or... or.... and I have to tell myself to just.... STOP!
Instead of stressing about the what may be and the what I've already done... I'm just not going to stress (yeah... right). Instead I will do what I can with the things I can mostly control.
1) Stop being lazy and get out of bed before 9 (seriously if I'm going to have to be moving by 6 most days I should just do it already). Just because your kids are starting to be independent enough that you can go back to be doesn't mean you should!!
2) Stop whining about the lack of time and just get things done! (No TV... except for Lucifer that is). There is a lot of time... it's just about this horrible adult word call PRIORITY. Le sigh!
3) College is not University, I am not 19 anymore, I don't need to prove myself to anyone! I have already had a few very successful positions, 2 awesome kids, an amazing husband, an awesome friend base and even cooler family... what do I need to prove??
4) DO NOT compare your art to another person's art. You are not that person, and they are not you!! This will only set you back. Your art is good... so stop being so damn hard on yourself! Why is every artist so self criticizing... you are allowed to like and even LOVE your artwork. Imperfections and all!
5) Artists can do Math. Mathematicians can do Art. It is a fallacy that you have to choose between art and science and maths and English.... you can do them ALL. You don't need to feel weird or ashamed that you like numbers as much as drawing!
So this is just a start... I will probably be revising my posting schedule come September. I'm not sure how yet, but I don't know if I'll be able to handle posting 5 days a week while working on projects and stuff. I'm not saying I can't, just saying I'm not sure yet and I will be assessing as I go!
Have you done something big that you needed to hype yourself up?? If so, what did you do to get through it??
Until next time.
Keep on, Geekin' on.
Angie
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